I have this problem. Sometimes i hold grudges to the extent of not speaking to someone for years, and then other people, i let walk all over me. Again and again. I dont know what i was thinking trying to allow things to be like they were back then. I can not keep letting my gaurd down and assuming things will be different. I put people up on a pedestal and i can not do that. I dont know if i will ever learn. I do this all the time. Its so hard for me to balance out my relationships with people. I know that eventually i will be able to let it go, let him go, get the closure i need to just put it aside. We wanted to work it out with him, but we just cant, and apparently thats what God wants. I just dont know what else to do. I can not be the only one giving, with him just taking. GRRR. It broke me today.

SO much drama, i dont know why i put myself into it. Lose one thing over another and i just cant get passed it. I want this to be over. I want these feelings to be gone, i want to have a normal day with my nerves not shot. I have to stop giving people chances, because in the end, i can not rely on them. I really truley cant.