My best friend

My best friend.

She is priceless. Amazing.  We have known each other since we were 11.  Trust me we have had our moments of wanting to punch each other in the face, but when it comes down to it there is no other girl in this world who can finish my sentences, keep me up till 5 in the morning, almost kill me but i still get back in her car, know every little inside joke possible that is only funny to us....oh i just love her.

We were hott back in our single un mommy days.  She got all the guys and it made me want to hit her, but it always worked out.  We lived together (in the same room) for like a year or something...she moved out...I kept my rugs. haha.  We didnt like the same guys too much, but I can say that she gave a little comment to Tj (before we started dating) that was hilarious and we have yet to let her live it down.  She has been there for me through so many things and although we spent a good time not talking, when we made up, it was like it never ended.  She is most definitely my soulmate (the girl version) and i LOVE HER!

I say all this because tonight she told me she might possibly be able to come and visit me for my birthday.  There is no better present than that.  I will be counting down the days when I know for sure.  I want everyone to meet her, because she is amazing.

I shouldnt be awake right now.

Its super late, but i just can not sleep because I am so energized with happiness....

We met with the leader of the jr. high of the stirring today to start helping out.  Although, Im not really sure if my "calling" is to do this, I have never felt quite this strong about anything else. Its super weird.  Its just something I am so flippin excited over.  I really have no idea what to expect, what to do or even where to begin, but I feel this is what God wants us to be doing right now. Tj has always had a passion for kids this age and has so many ideas that he has always wanted to do.  I think he is more excited than me. Way excited.

I am super excited for what God is doing in our lives right now.  For once I finally feel like we are in the right place at the right time. It feels so good.  Pure Joy fills my heart.

On another note, we shared a great evening with kendall and Samual over Settlers of Catan of course ;)  Samuals voice is pretty much awesome and I love that he is from London, I asked him more questions then he probably felt like answering but I loved it.  I want to go there someday, doubt it will happen, but who knows.  

There is rain again tonight and although we need it I am SOO over it.  I cant sleep with rain, I dont like how loud it is. Tj is complete opposite.  The noise puts him to sleep.  I just love the sunshine, its happier, not so depressing, it just makes me want to get out and enjoy the day.  

I am happy though, so overly happy. =)

Getting to know you!

Stephanie did this and it looked like fun! 

1. Vacuuming – Run it through the house hitting the heavy-track areas; or, move most of your furniture to get as much carpet as possible? 

I dont move any heavy furniture, mostly just the high traffic areas!

2. Milk – Use well past the date on the carton, until it smells funny; or throw it out the day after the date on the carton? 

It goes out the day its expired, just knowing anything is expired I cant use it, wether it is still good or not!

3. Childhood – What do you do as an adult that you weren't allowed as a child? 

have sex, lol. I get to do alot because my parents were extra strict!

4. Toilet Paper – Roll the paper over the top, or roll it under? 

Over!

5. Bed-Making – It's made every morning, occasionally, or not at all? 

I make it most of the time mid-morning or early afternoon

6. Most Hated Household Chore – Cleaning bathrooms; doing laundry; or dusting/vacuuming? 

doing laundry is easy putting it away sucks!!!!

7. Favorite Type of Vacation – Each day planned out with reservations; or, hit the road and go wherever you end up?

I am a planner, i have it all written out on paper.  I am a crazy planner!!

8. Butter – Stored in the fridge, or in the pantry? 

We use fake butter, its in the fridge.

9. Bathing – Shower or bath; and once or twice daily? 

Once, a shower!

10. Handling Life's Curveballs – When life hands you a big lemon, which way do you tend to handle it: get upset then make lemonade out of the lemons; or smile and make lemon creme pie and figure you may as well enjoy the lemons you were handed?

I typically get upset as soon as it happens and then distract myself with cleaning.

It would be fun to hear from other people what they say. I think it's a great way to learn something new about other people.

Dreaming

I want more.

I want to be more.

I want to become something for God.

I have many friends doing so many great things, I feel like I am just sitting back and doing nothing.

Adam is in Sac doing the whole Planting of disciples church with our friends and I have a lot of friends back home that are really opening up and becoming something in Him.  Not to mention friends here that are part of a great ministry.

I am just sitting here, going through the everyday motions like its okay.  I want to contribute I want to be something for him.  I need to be a witness for him.

Yesterday at what I thought was an uneventful starbucks visit turned out to be a wonderful moment.  A student from Bethel came up to me and said I want to give you this and it was a card that said Dream.  It was made by her and had beautiful words in it.  I know about this project because our friend Kendall gave Tj the one that he made. :)  God was reaching out to both Tj and I and it took me until this morning to figure it out.  

I dont know what it is God has for us to do.  I know that we need to dream, believe in our dreams, and know that God is an amazing God who will do miraculous works in us.

I did it....

I did it. I finally said something to her. That crazy girl who acts like my kid is the evil one.  As some of you know I have been doing the day care at my gym every thursday now for about 4 months. i enjoy it, some days are good some days are terrible but i live through it.  Anyway, the other girl who used to volunteer on thurs with me has a child that is mean to all the kids, he pushes, hits, steals there toys and throws his food on the ground stomping on it. I know your thinking...every kid does this.  Yes, your right but he is just beyond control, to the point where the lady who actually runs the day is so fed up.  Today, this child pushes aiden down in the face (no reason at all) and turns around within 1 minute does it to another baby who is a year old. But with the other baby he pushes him by the throat. Oh i was angered.  When girl comes in to get her kid I always keep aiden away from them because well...i dont want him around them.  So, they are fixing to walk out the door, i put aiden down and he starts walking around.  In 2 seconds the child turns around and pushes aiden down for no reason.

Then i said it....

"See this it was he does all the time" .....

Those words...

oh man....

So she looks up at me after just putting her child in her lap saying Time Out as he is hitting and kicking her, and says...are you mad at me?  Well, I will say that I held back much more than i planned because I wanted to show my good christian spirit.  I said well, you switched days because you say aiden is mean to your kid and really its your child that is doing all the pushing and hitting.  She comes back with well Aiden is always stealing his food. True. But every kid in there shares and follows the other kids around getting there food.  Not many other children do what her child does to every child. I can say 3 that I have seen including him that our just that mean for no reason.  Nothing big happened. A few more words were spoken and she left saying im sorry he hits your kid.  But not in a happy way.

It could have ended better I suppose, but at least things were said.  The owner of the gym was in there as well, and sort of agreed with what the day care leader and I were saying. This girls kid was uncontrollable. 

I have been wanting to say something to her for about a month now, but I have kept it in and kept praying over it.  I know it shouldnt have happened the way it did, but I cant take it back.  Now i know that next time I go to the gym, I will get stares and have a nice long conversation with the day care leader about what "the girl" had to say about what happened.  Even though the day care leader completely agrees with me ......"the girl" likes to talk.  ugh.  I know that God will help in the situation but Im just so frustrated with the issue.

I know everyone thinks their child is an angel and can do no wrong.  I know that kids are kids and these things happen.  I never thought I would get this defensive over my son.  Its truly unconditional love :)

a new outlook

Its almost insane how God can answer your prayers.  The smallest ones, the ones you would think he didnt have time for.  I forget sometimes that every prayer counts.  No matter what I am going through, He will fix it.  Its just amazing.  

I love my brother, he gave me some great advice on a book I have been trying to read and understand lately.  He reminded me, that my relationship with God so much much more important, and things will always fall into place if i just make sure I have that connection with my savior.  Adam used to be a buthead, but i love him he is awesome :)  He also pointed out, in an odd way..i need to get out more, i dont think thats what he was going for, but our talk on "life groups" or "small groups" whatever you call them pretty much made me realize that Im not the only one in this world.  I need to interact with people of all ages, and all interest.  I cant just put myself around married folks and expect to learn what I need to learn.  Having a life group that is mixed is great.  I can learn something from everyone. Thanks brother.

I must say, after six months of being away from home and away from my family, I am really enjoying myself.  Much more than last time we tried this :)  I promise there will be no moving anytime soon!  I am growing so much and its amazing what God will bring you to, when you are at such hard times.  

I love it. Happy happy day.

So tonight I realized that I really want a friend.

I have so many wonderful friends here and so many wonderful best friends back home, but I really want a best friend here.

Someone whos hugs make my entire day better.

Someone who will come over all the time for no reason.

Someone who loves me no matter what.

Someone who i can talk to on the phone for 2 hours, then spend the whole day with them doing more talking because we are just that awesome.

I dont have that kind of friendship here, and i am really longing for it.  Im not sure if God just doesnt want me to find that here in California, or if I just havnt gotten out there and opened myself up to make one.

I just want one. :(